Hi I’m Steph. I’m 33, married, I have 2 little boys 18 months apart, a very noisy cockapoo, I’m a midwife and I’m motherless. 

I lost my lovely mum 9 months after she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. My eldest was just five months old and it set me on a path to motherhood that was out of my control and extremely unexpected. If you’ve listened to the podcast, you will have heard how I have struggled with these two transitions intertwining with one another; losing my mum whilst becoming one. How I have required support from other health professionals to help me navigate this challenging time.

The Motherless Mothers community was suggested to me by an old school friend when I bumped into them after Mother’s Day. I was having a tough day and bumping into this person who knew how I was feeling without saying a word, was emotionally overwhelming. I was sent the link at the end of the day and joined immediately. Joining the community has been such a positive experience for me. Finding people who have shared experiences, feelings and thoughts is validating in a way I didn’t know I needed. After coming on the podcast and chatting with Lou and Adina, I was so inspired by their passion to create this community and increase awareness of this unique grief. I knew it was something I wanted to help with in some way, so I was honoured when they reached out and asked me to be involved.

I qualified as a midwife in 2020, which was one of my proudest achievements as I followed in my mum’s footsteps. The word ‘midwife’ originates from the old English term ‘with woman’, and I think that goes hand- in-hand with this community — women supporting women. I have spent the past five years caring for women and their families in all areas of maternity. Preparing them through their pregnancy in anticipation of their new arrival. Cheerleading at one of the most vulnerable times - giving birth - however that looks for each individual. Guiding in those anxiety-inducing early days of motherhood, and sadly, at times, supporting women and their families when they experience loss; something I will never get used to but will always feel privileged to be trusted with.

When I return from maternity leave, I will be starting a different challenge in my new role as Specialist Antenatal Screening Midwife, focusing on families where pregnancies are more high risk and require specialist input. I have always understood the importance of protecting a soon-to-be, or a new mother’s mental health, however it wasn’t until I became pregnant and then lost my mum that I truly appreciated the complexity of it all. The impact losing my mum had on my pregnancy and my ability to bond with my children was enormous and something I never imagined I’d struggle with, and it has felt extremely lonely. However, I hope through working together with TMM both in my midwifery capacity and as a fellow motherless mother, I will be able to create something positive out of such sadness and help others with this unique and unpredictable experience.